So today,

I picked up a bag of what I thought was ket

and chilled with the dealer whilst he had his cigarette.

And as usual in England, outside was wet,

so we sat in his car and sorted out all debt.

And of course,

once the money and the white switched hands as usual,

in the usual manner in which dealers treat us all,

I suspected nothing cynical,

as it all seemed casual

 and there was no reason to suspect anything was wrong at all.

I got in my own car and contently drove home,

pocketing what I thought

 would take me places unknown.

And thus I’d planned my evening

 around getting spaced at home,

involving a candle lit tub, with the two tone bath foam

and some weed and William Orbit

to get me right in the zone.

 

The bath was drawn, the clothes were off and the room was filled with steam.

The beat’s aliveness supported my highness, as I stonedly set the scene.

I lined it up and sniffed a rail through the cylindrical face of the queen

but the feelings and thoughts I experienced at once were not as they should’ve been.

 Instead of the familiar fizzy sensation that thrusts you into the depths of the trip,

I was subject to a sharper wiry stimulation with a novocaine flavoured drip

and immediately you can tell when you taste that taste you’re gonna spiral upwards quick

which is not the experience you wanna have in a bath, or the flavour you want in your spit.

 

And instead of mirages and imaginary places I was wide awake and alert,

with a numb nose and teeth and completely blank mind, and 35 quids worth of dirt.

My head pounded from the confounding compound of the weed 'n what was probably plant fert.

And as my bath got colder, I felt tense across my shoulders, and my head really began to hurt.

 

Fortunately, I was fine and I came down quick,

as I hadn’t taken the piss with the amount.

But if I had’ve over done it like I’d planned when I got it,

who knows how it could’ve turned out.

So I suppose it’s a reminder or a reality check

that you should always be cautious and doubt

what you get from a dealer, as they’re not a chemist

and have no reason not to fuck you about.